|(Finding New ones!! See bottom.)|
Mr Singh was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS
etc. Then he came to the column "SALARY EXPECTED". He was not sure what to write there. After much thought he wrote : Yes.
Two Singhs got fed up with the Indian Govt and decided to blow up the parliament. They take 2 bombs, put them in a suitcase in the front seat of their car and set off. One asks the other "What happens if the bombs blast off now" The other says "Don't worry. I have a spare bomb in the back seat"
Banta Singh went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked, "Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?"
"Yes, of course," said the doctor, "why not!"
"Oh! How nice it would be ," said Banta with joy, "I have been illiterate for so long."
Two sardarjis walked toward each other on a country road. One carried a burlap bag over his shoulder.
"Hey Bhai," first sardarji drawled, "what's in the bag?"
"Chickens," was the reply.
"If I guess how many, can I have one?"
"You can have both of them."
The sardarji replied "OK, Five."
There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street.
All the sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general 'balle balle' is on.
The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its a marriage baraat. So one of them asks Santa Singh, "Singh Saab, aap ka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach rahe ho?"
....comes the reply, "Haan ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi ki!!! Aaj paheli bar ek sardar "brain" tumour se mara hai!!!"
A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead.
The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?"
To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai, 'Wash Basin' ".
A sardar sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are doing.
The bystander explains that a Marathon race is going on
Sardar : What do they get from that?
Bystander : The winner will get a prize
Sardar : Then why are the others running?!
One foggy evening two Sardarjis went out walking.
One of the Sardarji was holding a flashlight, and suddenly he said to his friend: "Why don`t you just climb up this light-beam when I am holding the flashlight upwards like this?"
His friend looked at him and answered, "No, I can`t do that because if I did, you would just turn off the light, and I would fall down."
Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefeet!"
Banta was standing at the station with Santa and son Preetu.
Preetu wanted to check his weight and he took a coin from his father and stood on the machine. Unfortunately, he could not reach the slot meant for inserting the coin. Then Banta had a brilliant idea. He lifted Preetu and helped him insert the coin.
All the three were wondering what made the Preetu weightless even on EARTH!!
A Muslim and a Sikh were once traveling together in a train. Both being from Punjab, spoke the same language and had a great time talking to each other and generally whiling away time. Came lunchtime and the Muslim took out his lunch and started eating without offering it to the Sikh. The Sikh was rather insulted at this impolite behavior. "What city are you from?" he asked the Muslim. "Lahore," replied the Muslim. At that, the Sikh started cursing the people of Lahore, mentioning, among other things what impolite &*@##!%%'s they all were. Being guilty, the Muslim swallowed all this in silence.
A few minutes later, the Sikh was hungry and he took out his lunch and started eating without offering it to the Muslim. The Muslim saw this as an opportunity for revenge. "And what city might you be from?" he asked the Sikh.
The Sikh replied, "I'm from Mecca. Start cursing!"
Q: A sardarji going to London on a plane, how can you steal his
A: Tell him the seats that are going to London are all in the
Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN A SARDARJI THROWS A PIN AT YOU?
A: Run like Hell....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
Q: How do you make a sardarji laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
Q: What is the sardarji doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: Why did the sardarji stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
Q: Why do sardarjis work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
Q: What did the sardarji do when he noticed that someone had already
written on the overhead transparency?
A: He turned it over and used the other side.
Q: How do you confuse a sardarji?
A: You don't. They're born that way.
Q: How do you keep a sardarji in suspense?
A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)
Q: How do you keep a sardarji busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: Why can't sardarjis make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.
Q: How did the sardarji try to kill the bird?
A: He threw it off a cliff.
Q: Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
A: because below 18 was not allowed !!!
Q: What's the difference between a sardarji and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q: Why do men like sardarji jokes??
A: Because they can understand them.
Q: What does a sardarji say when you ask him if his blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
Q: What do you get when you offer a sardarji a penny for his thoughts?
Q: What do you call 10 sardarjis standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q: What do you call a sardarji in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.
Q: What do you call a sardarji with half a brain?
Q: What do you call a sardarji in a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.
Q: What do you see when you look into a sardarji's eyes?
A: The back of his head.
Q: Why are sardarjis hurt by peoples words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
Q: When is it legal to shoot a sardarji in the head?
A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!
Q: Whats the difference between a sardarji and a Supermarket Trolley ?
A: A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
Q: A sardarji ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in
six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A sardarji parade.
Q: SOMEONE ASKED IF A sardarji BELIEVED IN SMOKING.
A: He said "Yes, I've seen it done."
sardarji #1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
sardarji #2: "No, who wrote it?"
Did you hear about the sardarji that stayed up all night to see
where the sun went ? It finally dawned on him.
A sardarji was driving down the highway to Disneyland when he
saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a
minute, he said to himself "oh well !" and turned around and
drove back home.
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